Carson

Posts Tagged ‘50y.o.’

Background: Texas, USA. All the assisted-living facilities I hear about are either for 65+ retirees OR if they’re age-appropriate, they’re aimed at people with developmental disabilities. The person for whom I’m trying to help find a good living situation is neither of these. He is 50 years old, still working (as a receptionist for a family business), but no longer able to live alone safely, even with some kind of home visits. He has cognitive impairments such as difficulty with storing new memories, adjusting to changes in a routine, using judgment, and understanding his limitations. Although his condition isn’t multiple sclerosis, advanced MS seems to be the best parallel to help you understand what he is and isn’t able to do.

He has been fiercely independent all his life and cannot quite grasp that living alone just isn’t an option anymore — he uses a power chair that he can’t quite control, has little use of his right arm, falls often, and can’t prepare his own meals, keep track of his medications, or make sound financial decisions. Living with his elderly (also working) parents is hard on him AND on them, and his social life as a single is impaired as well. Even simple things like being able to engage in his preferred routines, such as eating dinner at a certain hour or bathing in the morning rather than at night or on weekends to fit others’ schedule, would be a blessing for him.

For all these reasons, the ideal would be an assisted-living facility where he could have a life separate from his parents’, be around people of similar age, have a daily routine and transportation to work and social events, and have occasional assistance when needed for falls or other setbacks. How can we best find this kind of thing, preferably around Dallas so he could keep the job, which he likes to have?
Update: Thanks for the suggestions so far. To clarify: It’s not a question of whether a facility will *accept* someone his age, as I realize most or all of them will — it’s a question of how to find anywhere that would have a significant number of people his age so he would feel he fit in. Even the “memory care”-type offerings seem to focus on people whose long-term memories are damaged (such as with Alzheimer’s), with nothing for helping people develop an impaired ability to store new memories.

We’ve thought about the living-at-home with an emergency device option, but unfortunately, that doesn’t address his other needs (e.g., a social life independent of his family) nor reduce the likelihood of his falling, and were he to have a seizure, I’m not sure he wouldn’t get help faster in the company of other people. The social needs are also the reason we haven’t gone with any kind of drop-in or live-in helper.

(To the “too many details” person – better too many than not enough.